The theme for the next Threefold Cord Women's Choir concert is Love is... When first exploring this title, I thought that I would live in II Corinthians 13 - love is patient, love is kind, etc., you know the drill - but, to be honest, I was overwhelmed by the number of characteristics beheld by this biblical definition of love. This is not to say that it isn't comprehensive; but my brain can only focus on a few things at a time, so that list was a little long for me. Also, can you imagine a concert that delved into each aspect of what love is as defined by the apostle, Paul? People would take one look at the program and choose to leave at half time.
Somehow I stumbled upon the four types of love as defined by the ancient Greeks - philia, storge, eros, and agape. Many people are familiar with agape - love that is sacrificial; Pennsylvanian friends in particular will recognize philia as brotherly love; and still many more likely have familiarity with eros from the word "erotic" meaning romantic love. Storge was a mystery to me; it refers to familial love. Because family is involved, you know there will be humor found in this concert. I look forward to a bunch of women poking fun at their husbands in the storge section of our presentation, but not to worry! There will be ooey, gooey, lovey stuff in the eros section, which brings me to the point in all of this.
First, I realize that the likelihood of people actually reading what I have to say is quite low, but there is something therapeutic about putting my thoughts out on the interwebs, nonetheless.
I was just working through Elaine Hagenberg's As the rain hides the stars, and I felt compelled to write down my thoughts, in the moment. Just when I think I have found my favorite piece written by Elaine, I find yet another. This is the "another" this go around. A setting of a traditional Gaelic Prayer, the text reads:
As the rain hides the stars,
as the autumn mist
hides the hills,
as the clouds veil the blue of the sky,
so the dark happenings of my lot
hide the shining of thy face from me.
Yet, if I may hold your hand in the darkness,
it is enough.
Though I may stumble in my going,
You do not fall.
In playing through this, I was completely struck by these last few lines. Words like darkness, stumble, and fall are words that are rarely attached to the idea of eros - romantic love. Why aren't they? It would be lovely to think that everything having to do with romantic love looks as if a snapchat filter engulfs it at all times with butterflies, glitter, and unicorns surrounding it. But this prayer says the opposite. Romantic love means darkness, stumbling, and falling.
Like many, my marriage has been full of ups and downs. Going into it, I like most young brides could only see romantic dinners by the fire, drinking wine into the wee hours of the morning, sweet little Jasons and Rachels running about. I thought that the mainstay would be what the first part of the prayer speaks of - stars, autumn mist, blue skies, and shining. If those words were to be pulled out of the overarching text, then yes, it would sound pretty fantastic! Yet, surrounding those words (like a bad snapchat filter) is rain about the stars, mist hiding the hills, clouds veiling the beautiful sky; sometimes the beauty cannot be seen for all the darkness that surrounds them. Sometimes, the other person's face isn't visible to the one that loves them so.
"The dark happenings of my lot," are inevitable because of this thing called sin. We don't only see butterflies and unicorns, because we continuously fail one another, though not always through willful disobedience, I realize. But we are ALL sinners; we're going to screw up. This is where grace comes into play. It is spoken of in these final words, giving a picture of sacrifice, bringing agape love into the mix: "Though I may stumble in my going, you do not fall."
When you truly love someone, you put them first. You help them even when it means that you, yourself, will take a stumble. Sometimes, putting them first can be really painful, depending on what type of sin has taken place in the relationship. But because of grace, it is forgiveable. Not easy, but doable.
II Corinthians 5:15 - just a few chapters after the LOVE chapter - says, "he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised." And that means that our romantic love for another person must also have as part of it, an agape - sacrificial - love. This is what needs to be preached from the podium at weddings; it is the true test of romantic love.
Have you held your loved one's hand even in the darkness? It hurts to hold that hand sometimes, but in doing so, you are showing that person the love that Christ has for his people. A love that cost him his life, so that you wouldn't have to lose yours.
